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Permalink 01:06:00 am, by Malika Bourne Email , 891 words   English (US) latin1
Categories: Background, Childcare Basics, family

I still could not blow my own nose when I went to Kindergarten

I still couldn't blow my own nose when I was four years old.

It had not occurred to the adults in my life to teach my how to care for myself.


Whenever my mother or grandmother got tired of seeing slimy nose gunk run down across my lips, one of them would yell at me for being such a "stupid idiot".


My mom would wipe my nose with a rag until it hurt. My grandmother used a bulb syringe, that had probably never been cleaned, to vacuum out my nostrils.

I kicked and screamed believing I was being tortured.


One day while my oldest cousin and I were at Grandma's house, the de-snotting began, again. As usual, I put up a horrendous fight wanting to have my nose left alone.

When the torturing was done my cousin in a matter of fact way asked me, "Why haven't you learned to blow your own nose?"


I didn't know the answer.


"If your learn to blow your own nose, it wouldn't hurt. You won't cry about it anymore. I will show you how. Here is one of my hankies." She shared something to keep my nose clean and words of wisdom. She was 5.

  • Children all need to be taught the basics of self care.
  • Children must be supplied with the tools to care for them along with proper instructions on how to use those tools.
  • Parents or care givers need basic knowledge on child growth and development to help them know when is the appropriate time for children to do things.


As a child, I also had issues with my long curly hair being in tangles. I didn't have my own hair brush and I certainly had no idea how to use one. I struggled to get free of Grandma's hair brush while she  yelled at me some more. Whenever I became too much of a problem for her she switched me until my back side bled.

At age 6 I still didn't know which shoe to put on what foot. My buckles caught on each other making me fall on my face a lot.

I can't forget to mention my stinky poop stained underwear that never got changed.

  • Whose responsibility is it to teach a child? It is the parent or parental figure.
  • Someone named Einstien said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." If your child isn't catching on to doing things right, ask yourself, "Have I actually told them what or how  to do the right way?"Maybe you want to try a different approach than getting angry over and over. It is the adults' responcibilty to make sure the child know how to behave.


I just never got it. I always wondered what I did wrong. I had no idea of how to fix things that made the adults upset with me. The pattern continued for years. I have no memory of anyone teaching me anything about caring for myself, except for my dear cousin, Linda, who taught me the things that my parents should have taught me. Instead they were angry and frustrated with me.


As an adult, I finally realized that the adults in my life had expected me to be a "miniature adult". They were angry at me all the time for being a "child" who didn't know the rules, expectations or the basics. So, I was a nuisance. They were particularly mad when someone pointed out my unkempt appearance. They denied their negligence.


The little me is my inspiration for my passion about teaching infant/child care basics.


My purpose with today's anecdote to is to continue on my mission of being a part of the solution against child abuse and neglect. While I am at it, I love to share knowledge of basic child care.


  • There are basic needs that most people understand.
  • Not everyone has been taught how to go about helping a child to accomplish developmental milestones.
  • Some had poor parental role modeling; like me.
  • Others didn't have the opportunity to care for a small child.
  • Then, there are those of us you just like to read about things that interest us.

My parents did not have the wealth of information that we have today about what is normal for a child to learn or when to teach them whatever, as they grow. I forgive them. I go on striving to not repeat a neglectful and abusive pattern that I knew.


In my upcoming blogs I will continue to share ideas about growth and development using my daughter's family as things happen.

  • The key to figuring out each situation is to have that basic knowledge under the belt. We will make mistakes or wish we had done something better. That is normal. We correct it and go on. I am here to support those who are learning to make good choices.

In future blogs I will address the following and more.

  • Learn proper sanitary techniques.
  • Learn basic good nutrition.
  • Learn basic signs of illness and things to prevent illness.
  • Learn about basic child growth and development. What is expected behavior at certain ages.
  • Learn some basic techniques that are effective to get a child to listen and follow through.
  • Learn how to make some fun STUFF and new games to play.
  • Learn problem solving that is appropriate.


I am Malika Bourne the No Non-cents Nanna saying, "Make good choices."


Permalink 01:57:00 am, by Malika Bourne Email , 240 words   English (US) latin1
Categories: recall, family

Does Your Little Princess Dream Bed Have High Lead Levels? It is RECALLED!


This is a child's bed that has been recalled. Isn't it so cute?

I would totally want to buy this bed for the one of the young grand daughters. It is the Sleepharmony Metal Youth Beds in pink. A-w-w! Sweet! I'm sold.

It is pink and made in China! I could have guessed made in China when I learned this adorable bed was RECALLED for an over abundance of lead in the pink paint. There are black and white models which are just fine and not recalled.

You can find the model number on the box or the instruction paper. Right, as if you kept either one, #MB-YPT-R1. Then if you have not removed the yellow lable, andyou should not have , you will see MFG: year/month/day: “MFG: 2013/01/25.”  If you have this and it matches the date, you need to not be letting the kids chew on the rails while you call for replacement instructions of directions on how to get a refund.

Glideaway Bed Carriage Manufacturing Company, of St. Louis, Mo. Here is their number to call:800-638-2772 (TTY 301-595-7054)

Too bad! How are you supposed tell your little girl that her dream princess bed has toxic lead? Well, all I can say is...I just want th ekids to be safe, so I pass on recalls. Be sure to share this for some little darlings safety.

I am Malika Bourne the No Non-cents Nanna saying, "make good choices."

Image corutesy of CPSC . See link above.


Permalink 01:29:00 am, by Malika Bourne Email , 291 words   English (US) latin1
Categories: recall

Uppercut Knife and Sheath Set is RECALLED!


Flat out, I don't get this. Gerber recalls an uppercut knife and sheath set.  If you have one check the  model number 30-000650.

 It cuts, so they recalled it.

I know I am missing somethings, here. I read the CPSC website with this recall over and over, trying to understand by GERBER a baby product company has a  Strek Trek sci-fi looking weapon because of a "laceration" hazard.


This is a knife; it cuts. I still don't get it. So, I started to research. I found this link:

In that link I noted that the price was a whopping $60 marked down to $33.95.

That is an expensisve toy.

Quoting Knife Center, "Small and discreet, the Uppercut is a punch-style, double-edge dagger designed for critical situations. "

Reading that I figure this Gerber do NOT sell baby food. I thought this was a kid toy. Apparently not. OOPS!

Parents, if you are as slow as I am on this recall, please don't make the same mistake thinking that if it is Gerber product with that sweet baby face logo, it would be OK to the let the boys play with it.  STOP! Do NOT let the kids play with it. Put it in the sheath and lock it up until they tell you what to do. 

 Call to get a replacement sheath.

M-m-m? "Replacement sheath"

Oh, never mind!

Now, I get it. I am not joking here. I did not get that it was the knife cover that causes lacerations. So, perhaps others might fall for the GERBER thing , too. Please check out the CPSC webiste at the link above.

I am Malika Bourne the No No-cents, sometimes a tad slow, Nanna, saying, "Make good choices."

Call the company at 800-638-2772 (TTY 301-595-7054)

Image is the courtesy of CPSC.



Permalink 01:59:00 pm, by Malika Bourne Email , 524 words   English (US) latin1
Categories: Background, Communication, family

How to Act Like a Nice Old Lady


bakehouse family

How to Act Like a Nice Old Lady

Since I was small, I have made my personal Observation of old people, especially the old women. 

I did not ever want to be like many of them.

I vowed that I want to be a nice old lady, even when I want to smack those young whipper snappers into shape with my walker, I will be pleasant.

1.Be nice. When you hear four letter words coming out of strange kids, be nice. Smile and do not batt an eye. I can the say the F word with more impact that will stop the sound in an auditorium. I am not impressed with their lack of vocabulary: I'm better. Do not bother putting them in there place.

2. When able bodied teens take up the handi-capped seating with their jackets and book bags, speak up.
"Could some of you move over so this gentleman with a walker can sit down before he falls in your lap , please?" You should see the kids move.

3.If you don't like a new fashion, don't talk out loud about it.
"See that disgustingly short pewtred green shoes that gal with the big nose is wearing?"
That is so rude. Comments like that embarass thoes around you.

4. Never kiss little kids on the lips, especially if your teeth are going to fall out or you smell like Velveta cheese. E-w-w! Ask if you can have a hug.

5. When someone asks how you are, they really are just being polite. Skip the organ recital about your lumbago, gout, and your colonoscopy. No one wants to go there. Try to be postive. "I have been keeping busy," will suffice.
6. If you need help, ask for help. Never guilt your kids into doing things for you. They would most likely just help you after communicating your need. 

7. It is OK to bore the grand kids with family stories. They will thank you one day for knowing about the family geneology. Do keep the stories on their level.

8. If the grand kids are acting out their hormonal stage, quietly walk away.

9. Never bribe the grand kids to like you. They will love you if you are a good listener.

10. Enjoy what you have. Express Gratitude often. Don't whine and complain to get attention. You may have aches and pains in places you never knew you had, but do not pull those around you into your misery. 

11.Do express that you are not feeling well. Ask to be excused to take a nap. Even ask for help in doing things that aggrivate your pain. Communicate your needs but don't use the lumbago to monopolize the conversation. It is acceptable to ask for help.

12. Be ever so pleasant. Try to twist the negative to a postive phrase, instead.

Now it is your turn..
I so want to be a nice old lady, not a crabby-apple. How about you? Is there any thing old ladies do that make others feel ucomfortable, so I do not do it? Let me know, please while I can still find my glasses. Eh?

I am Malika Bourne the No Non-cents Nanna, saying, "Make good choices."

This post was repurposed from January 23, 2012 post from my page.

Permalink 04:04:00 am, by Malika Bourne Email , 435 words   English (US) latin1
Categories: Background, Communication, family

Getting on the Right Track by Setting Goals for Your Life?


Getting on the Right Track by Setting Goals for Your Life?

Wandering around aimlessly will get you now where until you make a decision to get onto some track and start moving.

After a while if you feel like hauling garbage is not making you feel content, it is OK to give yourself permission to change tracks and go to cosmetology school , if that is what your goal is.

Many find it helpful to re-check you written goals now and then. Ask yourself...


  • What area of my life is most satisfying?
  • What is going on in my life that I do not feel comfortable with?
  • What different track do I want to be on?

If you are having a difficult time balancing your mental energy, here are some questions to think about before you write down an answer.

Do not rush to get through these questions. You may print this off if you wish.

1. How would I describe my friendship?
2. How do you enjoy your spare time? Or do you enjoy spare time?
3. What hobbies, pastimes or sports etc. do you like to do? Are you doing them or not?
4. What kind of work, paid or volunteer would you like to do, if you could? How would you go about following through?
5. What is something new you would like to learn? Are there classes available?
6. How would you describe your living situation?
7. How would you describe your financial situation? What would you do to improve it?
8. You express your Creativity in what way?
9. How would you describe your family relationships?
10 How would you describe your spiritual relationships?

Only you can answer these questions for yourself to help determine if you are on the right rack for YOU. Remember you do not have to try to please everyone. You can work towards pleasing your own unique self.

Gleaned this information from notes I took in a psych class. I find that I must re-evaluate my goals to see if I am moving on the right track or do I need to get some assistance to make a change?
the photo is one I took about 10 years ago. I wanted to see how the other end of the tracks seems to disappear.

Off the top of your head, which 2 goals do you feel are most important to you?

I am Malika Bourne the No Non-cents Nanna saying,"Make good choices."

From time to time, some the articles I publish on will appear on my blogs
Feel free to visit my blog for tips on child care or issues in extended families that may affect your parenting.
I love comments that tell me what you got out of my posts.

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